#weird or intense or whatever
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theres been a few times now where ive seen someone very clearly plagiarize either a design, idea, or even rip tutorial sections verbatim to claim as their own from my work, but the issue is i simply dont have the time or energy to fight it so i cant do much, so whenever i see a new instance of it my soul is crushed for 0.2 seconds before reforming and i look verbatim like this paul rudd bit:
#for the most part i dont care that much actually since this isnt like#my job#i literally just do creative stuff to not go insane#and its mostly my cosplay work that gets stolen which....its all emulation#i get really weirded out by when i have tutorials ripped bc that is genuinely more of my actual unique innovation#but whatever floats your stoat i really dont want to be caught up in a grubbn's match#the worst ones where were it was people that got more credit/more traction or there was strange personal context#those ones are weird but not worth picking a fight over#but if anyone tried to rip my OC designs i would be actually hurt but also deeply confused bc they only make sense in context#like if someone tried to cop sulu it'd be like:#'ah yes you too are a mid-30s physics doctorate with bipolar II managing long form depressive episodes while medication intolerant-#and coping with the fallout of people being unable to stay by you due to the intensity of your suicidal nature and obsessive working'#genuinely i would be gobsmacked
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Goodnight out there, whatever you are.
#goodnight out there whatever you are#goodnight#goodnight out there#weird#the weird#black and white#horror#film#movie#monster#Bela Lugosi#White Zombie#evil eye#hypnotize#mezmerize#intense
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Sonic is the kind of guy that's either Literally Immortal or will die in his mid to late twenties in a freak accident during one of his adventures
#ramblings#personally don't think he'd die doing something heroic like he simply would not let that happen#he will plot armor his way through every intense battle against eggman or whatever malignant entity threatening the world#he would however die in the middle of bumfuck nowhere after jumping off a cliff for fun (as one does)#without realizing there were spikes at the bottom or something. he'd just be like it is what it is ig#idk is this too grim. this feels weird to talk abt but it's been on my mind for a while#drawing sonic as a wind spirit all that while ago got me thinking weird man idk
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dissecting stanford pines and finding organs that don’t exist but like in a metaphorical way
that’s it that’s the title i’m going with. this is a long one folks o7
most of this isn’t sourced or canon at all it’s just personal interpretation/headcanon/whatever else u wanna call it, but!! since more people are seeing my deranged gravity falls ramblings now i figure i should probably give some perspective as to why i like/defend ford as much as i do
(in my other gf posts i do try to stick to canon to back up whatever point i’m making - this is just about my personal opinion of ford as a character, and should be able to be thrown out in regards to my other posts)
so for some background/setup/whatever (it’s important i promise bear with me), different people have different instinctual responses to anxiety/stress. i come from a family (genetics are fun) where the default response is to start (metaphorically ofc) biting and hissing like a cornered animal. this doesn’t necessarily mean there’s any actual hatred or malice or anything towards the people that end up getting scratched - they might just be at the wrong place at the wrong time, they might’ve done something super minor and insignificant that added on to a preexisting pile of stress, etc etc
i cannot stress enough that i am not saying this is ok. you dont need me to tell you that hurting people who don’t deserve it is a bad thing, lol. what i am saying though is that sometimes people can kind of suck for reasons other than just genuinely wanting everyone around them to be miserable
this is the last “background” part i swear BUT another thing thats less genetic and more just me being weird is that i’m the type of person where like. any minor environmental change can really stress me out lol. like even just reorganizing my desk can be pretty emotionally taxing
SO. finally back on topic. stanford pines. i see a lot of the behavior/patterns i just described in him. like i’ve spent my entire life around people like this, and while i understand why a lot of people see him as just some asshole, i can’t help but see him as a guy who’s just kinda going through it lol
just talking about the more recent events as of the series, he’s just spent 30 years god knows where doing and seeing god knows what, he has an abusive ex who wants to murder him and his entire family (plus the whole dimension, really), and in the three decades he’s been gone the entire world - including his own house - has changed and left him behind. add onto that that he went missing in 1982, way before we had all of the emotional/mental health resources we have now, we all saw what the stans’ childhood was like, and that ford is terrible with people - including, imo, himself. if there’s anybody out there who would have Feelings and not understand what they are or where they’re coming from or what to do about them, it’s this guy
this entire setup is the perfect circumstance for fear and anxiety and stress and uncertainty to all get translated into anger. a really big example of this, to me, is how he talks about dipper in journal 3. i’ve talked about this before somewhere so i’ll try to summarize as fast as i can lol
reading his initial entry about dipper would make u think he like. hates this kid lol. but i really don’t think he ever did - he was really excited to meet the kids in the show and already seemed to care about them just by virtue of existing, and his opinion on dipper in journal 3 seems to do a complete 180 pretty quickly which ,,, doesn’t really fit ford as a character. like i love the man but that guy can hold a GRUDGE
here’s how it reads to me:
ford gets back to his home dimension after 30 years and everything is different
he’s subconsciously kind of struggling with the fact that he doesn’t really have a “home” anymore - the sense of familiarity and comfort that would normally come with the word is gone. (i specify that it’s subconscious because, like i said earlier, i do not get the vibe that he’s particularly aware of his own emotions)
he finds out that journal 3 - something he made with his own two hands and considers part of his life’s work - has also changed in the decades he’s been gone. this adds to the feeling of unfamiliarity with the world around him
it’s easier to blame that “final straw” and say that he’s just upset about his work being tampered with rather than address the actual root of the problem, so that’s exactly what he does. this still doesn’t mean that there’s any genuine hatred towards dipper. anger in the moment, yeah, but not hatred
again, this is entirely personal interpretation, and i completely understand if u don’t see it like this!! this is just a pattern of thoughts/behavior that i’m very familiar with, so it’s easy for me to apply it to situations like this even if it’s not really part of the canon
i also think there’s a big problem in this fandom with just ,, not seeing ford as a Person with Emotions? idk how to explain it but it feels like people expect him to always know exactly what to do in every situation just bc he’s old and academically smart. like whenever another character does something objectively bad it’s “well there were extenuating circumstances,” (which is usually true and i agree !!) but ford never really seems to get that treatment. if he does something bad it’s just because he sucks
a big example of this i think is the fight between him and stan (y’know the “you ruined my life”/“you ruined your own life”). you cannot look me dead in the eyes and, in full seriousness, with the context of everything ford was going through with bill at the time, say that he was fully mentally/emotionally stable during that conversation. “oh so you’re blaming stan-“ NO!!! stan was also going through it!!! that’s the entire point - they’re both people with their own lives and emotions and everything else that comes with that, they had very human reactions to their respective situations, and they both ended up hurt!! hopefully i’m explaining this right but i just don’t like it when people pin everything on ford, like there was a lot going on and at the end of the day he’s just a human
wasn’t really sure how to work this in so i’ll just put it here - i don’t think ford ever truly hated stan, either. familial bonds are complicated, and there can be a whole lot of anger towards someone without true hatred being present. i briefly mentioned the stans’ childhood sucking earlier, and i don’t just mean stanley - it’s easier to pinpoint him as a victim of abuse/neglect, but that doesn’t mean ford had it great either. their parents (specifically filbrick, but caryn didn’t exactly do a fantastic job with them either) expected nothing of stan and the world of ford, both of which would weigh heavily on any child. plus, ford being the favorite doesn’t mean all of his emotional needs were met - filbrick seeing him as an opportunity to make money doesn’t mean he was suddenly an emotionally present and caring father towards him. WCT wasn’t just an opportunity for ford to go be a famous scientist or whatever - it was a chance for his father to love him, something both of the stans desperately wanted. (WCT was also on the opposite side of the country from where they lived but i’m sure that’s completely unrelated !!!)
do i think stan deserved anything that happened to him after the science fair incident? no, absolutely not, he was a child. do i think it was right of ford to just stand there as his brother got thrown out? no, absolutely not - but he was a child too. as for them not speaking for a decade after that, like i mentioned earlier ford can hold a grudge like no other. (this doesn’t just apply to stan, either, ford dedicated half of his life to trying to kill his ex lmao.) i think ford’s ability to hold on to anger like that is actually a pretty major part of/flaw in his personality, but again, anger - even the strongest, most long-lived of it - is not synonymous with hatred. stan, who ford has always gone to for help when he truly needed it, it not what ford’s hatred looks like. bill, who ford actively wants to die, is
anyways!! i never know how to close these things lol. ig in summary i just see ford’s behavior (in the show at least) as more of a sign of internal struggle rather than like ,, genuinely hating the people around him and wanting their lives to suck. did/does he have an ego problem? absolutely. is he incapable of love and human connection? no. is he immune to manipulation/abuse/neglect/etc and everything that comes with that? also no
he’s an interdimensional criminal why can’t he go to the theraprism. i think he should
#also if u look at the WCT incident and him being mad at dipper for writing in the journal as parallel situations#i think it actually does show changes/development in ford as a person#sure WCT would’ve like changed the trajectory of his life or whatever and the journal was ultimately Not That Serious#but the fact that he was so quick to let go of that anger - something he’s never really been shown to do in the past -#does make it seem like he’s changed in the last 30 years#like i see a lot of people say he hasn’t grown at all since (insert pre-series time period)#but i don’t think that’s true. like u can’t tell me 30-smth year old ford would be chilling in his basement with a 12 year old playing dd&md#like he HAS mellowed out with age. he’s also just weird and has a naturally kind of intense personality#anyways normal tag time my brain is melting i’ve been writing for so long lmao#gravity falls#stanford pines#ford pines#stanford gravity falls#ford gravity falls#gravity falls ford#gravity falls stanford#twoa.txt
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queer people will think they have a strong identity set in stone based on their past experiences and feelings and then years later have its entire foundation blasted away as soon as they think about it from a different perspective for a minimum of 5 seconds and then start questioning their entire identity again
it's me. i'm queer people. i think i just realised my identity as a demiromantic person is actually demi-queerplatonic or even some sort of demi-alterous thing instead and what i felt before wasn't actually romance and now i'm really confused about it. chat wtf is going on
#the aro -> demi -> queerplatonic -> alterous pipeline is real lmaooooo#ok i did some more thinking. i might be demialterous! the term alterous feels very close to what i felt a few years back#and it does kinda match up with how i feel about my fictional beloveds. it's a strong loving for them that is not romantic-#-but rather something else entirely that is very intense (along with aegosexual and aesthetic attraction)#idk man i just love them a lot and want to think about them getting kissed#i feel like i just hatched from a new cocoon again with this realisation lollll#feelings are weird.....#but that begs the question: if i am not demiromantic then what am i when it comes to romance?#i've used the demiromantic label for so long that i'm just really confused on what i am now that i might not be demiromantic after all#of course i can still use it if i want to because i can do whatever i want forever but also i love having accurate labels to categorise-#-my many feelings like books in a bookshelf and now i need to do some searching#i think i might be grayromantic or desinoromantic... i'm not sure yet#also i looked up the alterous flag and it looks like a derpy hooves x pinkie pie flag and now i'm just thinking about them loll#should derpy and pinkie be alterous mascots? the colours match up pretty well#man now i just wanna think about derpy and pinkie in an alterous relationship with each other#the term for an alterous relationship IS called a gummyfriend! and that fits pinkie so well#alterous#aroace#aromantic#arospec#aro spectrum#aro#aspec#questioning#demiromantic#demialterous#HOLY SHIT THERE'S A TAG FOR THAT?????#oh boy i gotta read up on that tag later
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Still technically doing Inktober, just a lot slower. The Silent Hill 2 remake has been a lot of fun. Working on a Lofi-Loid, cause why the hell not. Art rambles under the cut
Not the happiest with it but that's what I get for not actually using perspective..... So this might (mostly likely) will get remade. I want everything to be busier, might use my own desk to set up a reference real quick and make everything a little bit easier. Still, this was a lot of fun to work on, and I'm probably going to use it to figure out how I want to handle shading, so its going to get messy and look weird lmao
next time will be better
#spy x family#art wip#inktober#ink drawing#like anya's arm look weird#and the niblings are vacationing so I couldn't ask them to help make a reference#and I couldn't find a reference online#but that can all be hidden with some intense shading#plus I kinda wanted to use this to practice lighting#sorry rambling#don't know if this will be finished or tossed but whatever happens happens
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Amateur Hour but I gotta outsource this. Aromantics. Heed my call. What is "romantic" love to a non-believer?
Bonus Round if you're not entirely ace -- does experiencing any amount of sexual attraction influence your answer? Also acknowledging that both aro/ace identities exist on a spectrum. Believe me. I am deeply familiar... with so many kinds of spectrums........... 🧍
Also if this breaches containment It's Not That Serious........... just a personal question. For a friend. Me 🙂↕️
#was so tempted to put 'sometimes 'love' is just autistic obsession' as an answer bc on god#i do think that's a factor for me. like. espppppp in moe's case. moe is just Obsessed w alfonse.#extremely weird about him constantly studying him. like. it does feel like love... the intensity of it..... but.#both me and moe. most romance repulsed motherfuckers out there.#like. like. not to get too personal but the one relationship i did have. i genuinely felt i loved him#but i also think. so much of it was me reflecting what i Think love was 'supposed' to look like.#most importantly he was my best friend (at the time). and i def did feel differently about him than i did anyone else/even other friends#which is why i'm so conflicted... like half i did genuinely love him half i've never been able to love correctly#and it's always taken some level of putting on a performance according to what i see to 'perform' love#like. like. am i just autistic. does it just come down to the autism again.#but also esp nowadays like. back on my bullshit. i actually ALWAYS hesitate to call whatever moe has w alfonse 'romantic'#like. i think he does feel/experience romantic feelings. but moe is just so dysfunctional and messy#that like. i don't think it would call anything it feels about alfonse romance.#but it still completely adores him. in a way that's distinct from how it loves sharena and how it feels about anyone else.#even charas it admires. somehow. which honestly jusy leads me back to The Obsession again#also extremely focal is how the demisexuality kicks in. like. it's definitely not devoid of sexuality.#IDK IDK I'M TALKING TOO MUCH I'VE TALKED TOO MUCH AND I'M SO TIRED. I'VE BEEN SO TIRED#i'm not in my feelings honestly i'm just frustrated LMFAOOO LIKE. SCREAMING. WHY DOESN'T IT MAKE SENSE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥#why am i preordained by fate to never be loved OR understood. wjat the hell man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I couldn’t settle on one colour so this guy gets all of them
#sorry. it’s another robot in weird formal wear.#sorry it’s fucking blue and white again#i promise I can design things outside of this but I am!!!! stuck rn#art tag#oc tag#ned dex and this guy all wear shirt and ties#ned has more of a generic work attire whereas dex has whatever he has going on#an undershirt with. long sleeves that are also fingerless gloves. his shirt. his tie and then a cropped hoodie#then twenty ALSO wears a shirt. but his is under a regular hoodie that goes under a trench coat#naro and zero don’t wear formal wear#zero’s outfit doesn’t really need to be logical so idk what’s going on there#Naro’s outfit vaguely just looks like pjs#they’re not but I don’t know how else to describe that#and this guy wears a whole ass suit#anyway!!#his colour changing isn’t a voluntary thing#if he focuses REALLY hard he can change his colours#but usually it changes depending on a task he’s doing and he does it without notice#it IS also sometimes an emotional thing#but if it’s an intense emotion like sadness or anger they’ll just go grey more than anything
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five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety
#walk with me#this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere#the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad#count on the person**#i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them#in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other#it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time#idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too#so we’ve been more properly friends lately#and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to#gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it#and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention#(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention)#anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all#weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone#so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever#and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more#and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted#they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture#and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek#i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on#bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other#flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc#i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed#but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers#and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious??????#your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up???#if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right???#so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend#delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something
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2023 reads
The Deep Sky
scifi mystery thriller
on a deep space mission traveling from an environmentally devastated earth with hope to restart humanity elsewhere
when they’re halfway, an explosion kills 3 crew and pushes them off course
the only witness is the Alternate who has no specific role, and she has to figure out who caused it & if they might continue to sabotage, while they're figuring out a way to get back on course with limited resources
flips between present and the past: of her childhood and training for the mission, her identity struggles, and relationship with her mother
questions the ethics of ‘restarting’ humanity elsewhere vs putting resources into fixing earth
#the deep sky#yume kitasei#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#i really loved this!!!!!#very intense but also a lot of interesting character introspection#love the virtual reality AI aspect!!!! though I do feel like. in the end I was expecting it to go way further with it?#(basically like instead of seeing the inside of the ship all the time they can 'be' in forests or aquariums or whatever)#no romance#(there’s side lesbians; and one flashback scene where she briefly wonders about kissing a random person; that's it)#emotional core about her mother and brother and best friend !!#i like that it gets into the flaws of 'humanity's last hope on another planet' bc like. yeah in real life things....don't work like that...#why is there zero acknowledgement that the concept of every one of them being expected to give birth being extremely fucked up?#like obviously everyone on board is there because they agreed with that but there’s not a single flashback of#when they found out that information; or mention of someone questioning it...#(for example a character mentions that they hid their mental health/use of a therapy animal bc they wouldn't have been let in and the -#eugenics around that is iffy to say the least)#but to me. pregnancy is horrifying and nobody questioning that was weird.#also there’s supposedly 80 people on board but we get to know less than 10 of them which felt a bit strange at points#Also! I love the cover. I can’t find the designer (the book info only credits the internal lllustrator..)#also: bird facts!
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I kind of disagree with the idea that Kokichi ever really had a close friendship with Gonta. I think what Kokichi was doing there was more complicated than that. not necessary malicious against Gonta specifically but I can't see them being genuinely close friends either.
#shut up me#mmmm. if I had more spoons maybe I would try to explain my thoughts on this in more depth but#I really struggle with it#but even without the haze of the intense emotions ch4 makes me feel I genuinely don't think they were close friends ever#Gonta mightve thought so in ch2#but not ch4#they probably had a moment of weird exisal-hanger esc solidarity in the virtual world#but they were not friends#I do genuinely think Kokichi was using him. but again not even because he hated him specifically or whatever#its more complicated than that
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yall gotta stop blaming tiktok for things that started on tumblr 10 years ago. the cringe is coming from inside the house
#“people on tiktok wont stop diagnosing themselves using criteria that everyone experiences” 2014 bpd tumblr.#[any intense fandom thing like kinning being weird at the actors etc] tumblr. still tumblr. did we forget voltron#“any iteration of kinning/shifting/whatever” tumblr 2013-today#“people on tiktok are so PURITANICAL” anti/proship discourse. once again did we forget voltron#any discourse that exists on tiktok that we are acting better than now existed on tumblr when we were the same age as these people#we are now just old#even shit like intrusive thought discourse wrt “omg guys the intrusive thoughts won!” like... we all remember that “intrusive thought to#pick up a crunchy leaf and eat it" post. it was contentious even then#the young gen z/older gen alpha on tiktok are not our enemies. they are us#we were worse even.#at least the people on tiktok don't call the guy who made it daddy
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#medical in tags#so it's been. a day.#avoided an ER trip <3#bp was 117/91 resting. so a bit high on the diastolic (120/80 is the standard). also narrow pulse pressure.#(not enough space in between the numbers)#which on its own? whatever. usual POTS weirdness. I'm always a bit narrow (but usually much lower).#but ALSO my heart rate was resting at about 90 and I was shaky and having nosebleeds#which. kind of elevates the situation a bit. lol.#I got better after a beta blocker and intense hydrating but I had to call my mom once the nosebleed hit.#I get them randomly all the time but in conjunction with the other symptoms it was worrying.#and I got better- or at least my symptoms subsided after a beta blocker- but it's Not Good when your EMT mother is worried!#she has seen All The Things. she knows when something's an emergency and when it's just otc meds worthy.#so to hear her giving me clear orders of what to do in her EMT voice over the phone was... not good :)#anyways. doing better now but still kind of spooked.#i've been watching too much house md. i need to stop for a bit lol it makes my own medical anxiety so much worse#BUT IT'S INTERESTINGGGGGGG. on s3. i need tritter dead.
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i have a very stupid problem that is causing me a very stupid amount of distress. my aunts are planning my baby shower which will be in my home city (a place where none of my friends live). we are inviting a bunch of family and tbh it's solely so i can get stuff from my registry. i feel okay about that part because i've bought gifts for all the extended family baby showers and weddings over the years and it seems fine to be like 'ok now it's my turn i really need the help.' the part that is making me feel weird is that my aunts feel strongly that i should ALSO send invites to all of my out of town friends, including college and grad school friends, because those people might send me gifts too. i think that a lot of my friends WILL end up buying something from my registry or sending something (a lot of them have asked already!) and that's very nice of them!!! and i do think i might want to send a birth announcement or something later just as a "hey! a big thing happened in my life!" kinda thing. but i feel super uncomfortable sending out invites to an event i know they can't attend (and would never expect them to fly to a random city for!!) because then it just feels obvious that i'm asking for a gift instead, and that makes me feel bad!!! but also idk my brother and SIL just had a MASSIVE shower where like 50+ of their friends came (because they went to college in our hometown and all their friends still live there) and my cousin just had a big shower too (she lives and works in our hometown) so i also just feel dumb for like. having a very small kinda lame shower where my extended family is gonna be like oh... does she not have any friends?
#why am i on the verge of TEARS about this#it's so dumb#yet another one of these weird intensely gendered rites of passage or whatever#but also it's bringing up all these weird feelings around single parenting for whatever reason#like i feel like my extended family is going to be politely tiptoeing around the fact that i'm not partnered#and then i think i just feel insecure because part of me wants to be like but LOOK i have all these friends who i love and who love me#so i'm not like UNLOVABLE#but that is dumb why do i even care what they think#or what i am imagining they think#well maybe this is the topic to tackle in therapy el oh el#i just had a furious crying jag about it#i think i'm just going to tell them like#this will be a family only shower#and i'll send a birth announcement to my friends later
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who in the torchwood team would hate nardole the most.
#torchwood#doctor who#nardole#dr who#dw#cannot figure it out#the one (1) thing im sure of is this: andy and nardole would get along SO well. they would LOVE each other. they meet like‚ ONE time in the#presence of at least one torchwood team member & like INSTANTLY hit it off in the background while whoever it is investigates smth and when#theyre done they come back to find nardole nd andy having a very quietly intense discussion abt smth extremely mundane & the team member#is like that photo of ben affleck with a cigarette. & then gwen finds out later that nardole and andy meet up every week to play mah-jong#also nardole would NOT fuck andy theyre just friends. and both of them get defensive if anyone ever suggests it.#in particular nardoles response is: (in a high and mighty tone of voice) 'actually. i dont sleep with cops thank you.' andys like 'whats#that supposed to mean' (a little offended) and nardoles like 'no a-dog its just a bit too messy for me‚ what with the legal system and all.#i dont do lawyers either. beyond clingy you know how it is' and andys like 'yea you know what thats reasonable i guess'#ari opinion hour#also andy DOES NOT KNOW THIS but thats the only thing preventing nardole from trying to fuck him like a bird doing one of those#weird ass mating displays. thank god for this also because it means we are all spared from whatever That would be (which‚ awkward‚ mostly)#ALSO YES NARDOLE WOULD HAVE A NICKNAME FOR ANDY BY THE END OF THAT FIRST CONVERSATION. IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY.
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i love getting calls going “hi we’re a cancer support group at the hospital-”
#have to email to schedule radiation today#I always feel weird bc it’s like. i mean yeah it’s cancer but I do one week of potentially feeling like a sack of shit while knowing I could#set off a Geiger calendar and then I might be home free and done with it all#i still have four years till i can say i’m in remission technically but#idk. it all seems less intense than other peopl#still fuckin sucks don’t get me wrong. i hate being told i have the cancer everyone wants or that someone’s mother’s sister’s girlfriend’s#little cousin had thyroid cancer once but is in her 60s now#especially when it’s usually papillary and that’s not what i have#but yeah it’s. thumbs up emoji#it’s whatever#i’m like a vampire but not and also worse#cancer tw#Geiger COUNTER. autocorrect I am killing you dead
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